


The WiFi Incident

by AngelsandMoose



Series: SassyNatural [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 16:00:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsandMoose/pseuds/AngelsandMoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was not a normal storm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The WiFi Incident

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of prequel to "No Wifi In Hell". Frankly, besides the creation of plot, I just wanted to introduce some more characters from another fandom my group is now doing. Just a drabble. Follow the footnotes for added trivia.

_It all started with a storm. It was spring, and there were too many storms around that part of the city that part of the year. Frankly, asking any normal person, the storms were normal and there was nothing about that unusual. However, for one angel in particular, these storms were the bane of his existence. Because it all started because of a storm. Said storm knocked over a power line and in turn killed off their Wi-Fi for a whole week._

It wasn’t a storm, per-say. Though that’s was the newspapers and television broadcasts said, this storm was not a storm. Yes there was rain and lightning and thunder, but it was not a storm. This lightning was not lighting, it was a huge flash of light that the city saw. This thunder was not thunder, but rather a very loud ‘ _BOOM_ ’ heard around the city. This was _not_ a storm.

“Captain, do you know where you’re going?”

“Yes, Mister Sulu, I know exactly where I’m going.” Said a Captain James T. Kirk, flying the USS Enterprise through the deeps of space…with sunglasses on.

“I’m not quite sure you can see—“

“I can see fine, Spock. Now stop bothering me while I drive.” His shoo’d away his first-mate, whom was actually his first mate ever. Not just the ship-type first-mate, the literal kind. It’d become quite obvious to the crew that they were a thing, nobody questioned it. Except Ahura, who still had the hot’s for Spock but honestly, who could blame her?

“Kirk, you really can’t see where you’re going. I’m picking up strange signals from ahead—“

“Silence, Awhorea! I can drive! I’m the Captain!” he bellowed. Since the last month, he’d had a small ship-like steering wheel installed so he could literally drive, but only when he felt like it. Lately he’d been sluggish, lazy and tired, not to mention sicker1 than a horndog2.

“Jim, please listen to Nyota.” Spock sighed from beside the Captains seat. Kirk looked up with a goofy smile on his face “Hun, lemmie do my job. Okie dokie?”

The Vulcan blushed green slightly, then sighed “Yes, _T'hy'la_.” 3

Suddenly the ship shook, making everyone fall nearly out of their seats. Scotty could be heard coming over the Comm

“What the ‘ell was that?! Ain’t anyone driving this thin’?!”

“Calm down, Scotty! I got dis’.” Kirk groaned as he picked himself off of the armrest, grabbing onto the wheel and spinning it to turn around. However, this ship didn’t move. Nothing happened. He glanced over his glasses out the front windows of the ship to see a huge black hole in front of them. “Well Shit. That can’t be good.”

“Damnit, Jim! How did you not see that!?” Bones roared from Kirk’s other side. Jim let out a squeak and sunk into his chair more.

“Where did you even come from, Leonard?! Do you just materialize from this air whenever I screw up something!?”

“My ‘Jim-is-being-a-shitass-captain’ senses were tingling.” Bones growled, ignoring the glare he got from Spock, probably due to the made-up word ‘ _shitass’_. Everyone was muttering something, probably about Kirk being a shitass captain, when they were jarred from their seats again, this time more violently. Jim, Bones and Spock looked up at the same time. Ahura caught on and spoke quite loudly “Sir, we’re stuck in its pull! We’re gonna go through!”

“We’re gonna die!”

“Well shit.” Spock said calmly, sinking down to his knees beside Kirk’s chair, assuming the impact position. As the tip of the ship was sucked into the Black Hole, two bright white flashes appeared on the bridge, and suddenly there stood Khan and Carol.

“James Kirk, I have come to you to find out the location of my crew—“

“A bit busy at the moment, Khan!” Jim yelled at him, his eyes squinting at the blackness that swarmed the ship. Both Khan and Carol looked out the window, both becoming aware of what exactly was happening. Carol dove down under Sulu’s chair, screeching like a girl, which she was. Khan blinked, then looked around franticly, flailing over and grabbing onto a chair that was empty. The entire crew huddled down as they were pulled completely through the darkness.

Next thing they knew, a bright white flash flew across the hull of the ship, followed by big fat raindrops to hit the windows, falling in an angled stream. Jim popped his head up, then scrambled to grab the wheel, only to have to jerked around in a circle as a loud thundering boom signaled their complete re-entry.  The entire crew screamed at once at the ship took a nosedive straight down towards the ground. As the ground got extremely too close for comfort, Spock threw himself around Jim in an embrace, both squeezing their eyes shut. Ahura braced herself, complaining louder at the embrace “Oh for god’s sake! Get a room, motherfuckers!”

When the ship finally crashed to the earth, the impact caused almost a tidal wave of earth, knocking down every power line in a ten-mile radius. Everyone picked themselves off the floor of the bridge. Carol and Sulu asked each other if they were ok, Khan looked like a scared cat, nails still dug into the armrests. Ahura checked herself over for any cuts or bruises, Chekov ended up fallen against Bones, though he was comfortable with that, Bones was not. Spock checked Jim over, asking constantly if he was alright.

“Scotty reporting to the bridge, Cap’n! Everyone alright?!”

“Ahura here; all these fuckers are fine. Where the hell are we, Sulu?” Nyota groaned, holding herself against one side.

“We appear to be on Earth. Our exact coordinates are unknown, the crash seemed to have knocked out most of our navigation system. By what I can tell, we our outside a major city. We might have knocked out their power.”

“Wonderful. Everyone, grab your shit from your cabins. We’re gettin’ outta here and hoofin’ it to the city.” Bones shoves Pavel off his lap, standing up and wiping off his uniform. Holding his hands behind him, he nodded to Jim and Spock, who were still tangled in each other “I’m going to get my medical kit. You’d better be ready when I get back or I’m leavin’ your sorry asses.”

They blinked and nodded. Once he left, Kirk looked at his Vulcan “I bet this is a great city. How bad could it be?”

“It could be inhabited by strange creatures. They could have strange social structures that cause us to go insane. Or worse, they could be very welcoming.”

“You make my skin crawl, babe.” Jim chuckled, kissing his cheek “We’d better get our stuff together.”

Everyone moved away to their rooms together their stuff. Meanwhile, a few miles away, in a few hours, an angel would be having a meltdown over the loss of his WiFi connection. And to think it was all thanks to James T. Kirk and his fabulous navigation skills.

_To Be Continued. . ._

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - This is a plot point. Yes. We roleplayed it out on our blogs, it's part of our plot. You'll find out more later.  
> 2 - http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Alfa_177_canine  
> 3 - Spock n' Kirk are mates/husbands/a duo in this universe.


End file.
